How to turn the most crushing aspects of marriage into the stickiest, most permanent adhesive for the relationship.

A client called me yesterday to explain how his wife had betrayed him…again. As I listened to the story and the many sordid details, I couldn’t help but remember a previous conversation I had with him, “you realize this won’t be the last time your wife will sin against you, right?”  But in the heat of the circumstances, all previous thoughts about Gospel understanding and being forgiven much and eternal perspectives seem to fade into the distance.

Is it possible to use situations like these to the advantage of the marriage and not respond in ways that continue to deteriorate the relationship?  These are the only two outcomes possible, as ignoring or dismissing such offenses merely sets up secret landmines for future injuries.

Collectively, we are creative enough to come up with dozens of responses that would escalate the situation, but there is a proactive response that brings restoration.  Ultimately, we have to decide what to do with how we have been sinned against.

If, in fact, we have surrendered our lives to Jesus Christ as our Savior, then He has come and delivered us from the power of sin and death. Yes, this is the justification that we all so desperately need, but it also a cleansing of uncleanness for how others have sinned against us.

God speaks to us in Zechariah 13, “On that day a fountain will be opened to the house of David and the inhabitants of Jerusalem, to cleanse them from sin and impurity.”  –Zechariah 13:1

And so, we use these arduous circumstances to recognize that God is not only gracious and merciful to us, but He is inviting us to reflect that grace and mercy to others, including our spouses and our enemies. These infuriating afflictions can actually be seen as formal, black-tie invitations from our Majestic God to become more Christ-like, and find our hope and joy in His eternal solution rather than our own selfish desires to respond.

How will you prepare now to respond with Gospel the next time you are sinned against?